Cuddlyumpkins
by Indignant Lemur
Summary: In which Cupid gets a girlfriend, Team Free Will is disturbed, and Gabriel needs a drink. Hints of Sabriel. EDITED and fixed because some text didn't transfer over from LJ.


Angels didn't really attach themselves to Humans... himself not included, of course, but he hardly represented the norm, now did he?

Anyway... for the most part, it was a bit of an Angel no-no. Now and then, though, there were exceptions.

Like Cupid.

Yep, _that_ Cupid. The one Dean punched in the face –which Gabriel was a little pissed about, actually, but Sam was pleading temporary insanity for his big brother, and, well... Yeah, _okay_, he'd think about letting that one slide. Maybe. Cupid wasn't exactly known for his tact, after all, and damned if the Winchesters weren't hypersensitive about _anything_ even remotely family-related.

Anyway... Somewhere between Sam and Dean fudging Mike and Lucy's Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny and Dad resurrecting a bunch of people (Gabriel's totally awesome self included), Cupid had wrangled himself a Human girlfriend.

Gabriel, for once, had _not_ seen that one coming –especially after that whole Eros and Psyche mess a couple thousand years ago. That whole thing had scared pretty much all of the Cupids off mortals by the end of it.

Oh, sure, it had all worked out in the end –Zeus wasn't _always_ a dick- but _damn_, had that whole thing gone Downstairs in a hand basket, or what? Eros' slip of the hand (which Gabriel had absolutely _nothing_ to do with, he swore), the crazy sisters, Psyche _listening_ to the crazy sisters, Eros' pitching an emo fit... _Yikes_. That had been one messy break-up. Even _Aphrodite_ hadn't been keen on trying to fix that one.

From the looks of it, though, Cupid and... Jay? Janet? Jade? J-something... Julie! That was it.

Right. Cupid and Julie weren't going to have that problem. At least, not that Gabriel could see. The two were pretty much inseparable, both curled up and snuggling on a loveseat –pun _not_ intended for a change- in possibly the most obnoxiously and disgustingly adorable PDA ever... in the middle of a restaurant filled with Pagan Gods (not that Sam and Dean knew that) -who looked on with varying degrees of disbelief, amusement, and horror. They were even _cooing_ at each other and doing those girly Eskimo kisses. _Gross_.

Gabriel shuddered and was suddenly very glad that he'd decided to hide Team Free Will from Angelic sight. Cupid was prone to giving rib-cracking bear hugs when he was only in a _reasonably_ good mood.

Dad only knew what a happy, mushy, _snuggly_ Cupid was capable of.

Actually, that might come in handy for the next Apocalypse...

Nah. So far as Gabriel knew, it wasn't possible to actually kill someone with mushiness..._Unless_ you drove aforementioned someone to suicide with aforementioned mushiness... But how to go about it? Clearly sparkles and bad love ballads were a must-have, but what else? Hmmm.

He must have been smirking, because Sam elbowed him in the ribs, and, _yeah_, he's an Archangel of the Friggin' Lord, but the guy's a freaking _moose_. That _hurt_.

Anyway. Where was he? Oh. Yeah. Cupid and Julie.

Ick.

The whole thing was completely, wholly, unapologetically, and shamelessly_ cute_. It _oozed_ cute. It oozed so much cute, it suffocated anyone within three feet of them and nauseated everyone else ten feet beyond that. There was no other way to describe the scene.

Even some of the most badass Pagans in the room were vacating the nearby tables and inching over to the bartender. Gabriel didn't blame them.

Dean, off to Gabriel's right, was making gagging sounds and nudging Sam.

Sam, on the other hand, was wearing an expression that said something along the lines of 'Really, Dean? _Really_?' and looking less than impressed while he was at it. Naturally, this did not, in any way, shape, or form, discourage Dean (who was totally being a jerk, by the way.)

And, really, who makes fun of Cupid? The guy's the _personification_ of adorable, for Dad's sake!

Now, _ordinarily_, Gabriel wouldn't have cared about what Dean was doing, but this was one of his littlest brothers Dean was poking fun at, and that just wasn't cool.

That said, Gabriel wasn't going to put up with Dean's _I'm-allergic-to-chick-flicks-and-cooties_ shit.

The resident BAMF of the Lord (though, _technically_ Castiel might also qualify, because, seriously, that kid was crazy) was going to stick Dean in a preteen romance novel any second now, Sam's Kicked-Puppy-Frowny-Face be damned. And Sammy wouldn't be allowed to bitch, because Gabriel could already see the tallest Winchester sending his brother those none-too-subtle 'Dean, shut the hell up' looks.

Really, he'd be doing Gigantor a favour; Sam was starting to Bitch-Face and Gabriel was suddenly very concerned that Sam's face might get stuck like that forever and ever and ever.

Scary thought. Imaging waking up to _that _every morning.

Gabriel shuddered again, and Sam gave him a funny look.

"It's cute... I think." Sam offered after a moment, but with the way he was crinkling his nose up and trying not to grimace, it wasn't very convincing.

"It's _weird_, that's what it is!" Dean argues, pointing at the pair on the other side of the room. "Does she even know what he _is_?"

"Yep." Gabriel answered, popping the 'p' characteristically. Inwardly, he was torn between sticking Dean into the Twilight series, or possibly the Harry Potter series. On the one hand, there was the cootie factor but, on the other hand, Dean _really_ hated witches... Tough call, that one.

"Is she a hunter?" Sam wanted to know. Gabriel shrugged. No one knew. The chick had come out of _nowhere_. The running theory thus far was that she was just an ordinary Human that Cupid had picked up somewhere.

...Aaaand now they were using lovey-dovey nicknames. Things like 'Cuddlyumpkin' and 'Oogie-woogums' were being tossed about, and that was just _awkward_.

Aphrodite, one of the closest to the love birds in question, muttered something along the lines of a death threat in Greek and uncorked another bottle of wine; it was her third since Cupid had arrived.

Nifty thing about this restaurant they were all chilling in? It was a _perfect_ neutral zone. Nobody ganked _anybody_ in it.

Concordia was pretty badass like that –in a passive-aggressive sort of way, at least.

Dean opened his mouth to make a derogatory comment, but Castiel, who'd previously been examining the scene with those Intense Puppy Eyes, stepped in. "Our brother looks happy."

"Sure does." Gabriel agreed, bouncing on the balls of his feet and snapping a giant lollipop into existence. It was lemony and made of awesome, and, on that train of thought, he gave Sam a lollipop, too.

"I am unsure as to what our Father might think, but I am... glad." Castiel continued, pausing as if to double-check that he was actually glad and not something else. It was kind of endearing.

...In a lame, nerdy sort of way.

"Awwww! Aren't you just the snuggliest, cuddliest, _huggiest_ sweetie pie! Yus-joo-_awr_! Yusjoo-_awr_! Yermahcuddlysweetie-_pah_!"

"I don't even understand what they're saying anymore." Sam commented. He looked a little disturbed.

"D'awww! Whoozmahcuddly-_wuggly_-_snuggly_-angelfoodcake? Joo-awr! _Joo-_awr!"

Gabriel needed a drink.

A really big one.

And it had to be covered in chocolate and those little sprinkle things and gummy worms (but not the sour ones) and ice cream and strong enough _to kill an elephant_.


End file.
